Bye Bye Beehives

I've had to wait a while to write this post.  Even now, I start to cry when I think about it.
I got released as the Beehive Advisor last week.  I had known for quite some time that a change was happening in the Young Women organization, but for some reason, I kept thinking it just would not affect me and my calling. WRONG!
Ever since I was teaching high school, I have wanted a calling in the young women's.  I always wanted to be able to talk to these guys about the gospel...which I never was allowed to do at work.
I got called to the Beehives, which was foreign to me, cause I was used to the 14 to 18 year olds. It was the perfect place for me.
Beehives are so excited to be in young women's. They're new and so full  of energy.  They taught me so much!
I loved giggling with them, rapping with them, crying with them and talking to them.
When I got released, instead of feeling, yes this is the time, I felt so resistant. NO!  I'm not done yet. Please don't take me out of there. It is the perfect place for me. I loved ALL of the girls. I loved working with the other women leaders and the friendships we built.  I learned so much from each of them.  I worry that those 2  short years are all I'll get working with young women. Will I ever get the opportunity again?  I feel like maybe that was all I'll get just cause it's one that I love so much. Know what I mean?

Girl's camp August 2010

I am now over the nurseries. It will be new and I hope to end up loving it like I did Young Womens, but for now I'm still in mourning.

Tough Break

At last night's soccer game, our spunky Maili was celebrating the game by doing somersaults. One here, another there. Both Kevin and I turned our head, so we didn't see what happened, but when I looked back, Coach Matt was signalling for me to come as he was huddled over my sweetie. We ran out to see her forearm completely bent. We knew it was broken. As our friends saw it, they told us both to just run and they would take care of our other girls. We took her to the E.R. where the x-rays showed both bones broken.
I had calmed down by that point....a broken arm....there's a lot worse things, but then they had to sedate her to be able to reset it. The doctor warned us how this would be, but I don't think there's enough warning for what we saw next.  Our spunky, energetic, bouncy girl became a zombie. Still awake, but completely out of it. The doctor says the brain separates from the body so you feel no pain. (This drug is used on the streets and is called special K) I don't know why anyone would want to take that, because you can't even purposely move.  It brought me to tears to see my baby like that. Still awake, but not there at all.  He quickly reset her arm and put a splint on it. The sweet nurse wrapped it in pink hospital tape/wrap for our princess.  We have to wait a few days until the swelling goes down, so Monday she will go to the orthopedist and get a real cast. She's been very brave...except for the moment of spitting out almost all the Tylenol with Codeine because it tasted so bad and then when they tried to give her the shot, her reflexes were so fast, she grabbed the needle and yanked it out and the nurse had to poke her twice.
I'm glad the trauma is over. I think I had so much adrenaline in me that I couldn't sleep last night.
It's moments like that which remind me of our Heavenly Father as he watches us suffer. I wanted so badly to just hold her and make it all better and not make her go through anymore pain or scary stuff, but I knew what was best and had to let her go through it....had to make her go through it so she could heal.
I love my spunky, smiley girl.

Mommy Blues-

I have the mommy blues today...oh and I had them yesterday and the day before. I use this term lightly....to some it may mean post-partum issues. For me, right now, it just means that I'm in a rut.  I'm sure after I write this, I'll feel better. It's my blog, so I give myself permission to complain a little. Blogs don't always have to be positive....do they?
So, just feeling tired of kids not listening when I ask them to do something OR to stop doing something. Getting tired of whiners. Tired of poop, wiping bums. Trying to change clothes on kids that keep trying to run away. Tired of threats (by me) that if they don't listen, they're either a) going to time out b) losing some privilege c) not getting to play with friends.
Tired, oh so tired of cleaning up my house, yet always feeling like it's so messy that I'm embarrassed for anyone to knock on my door. Tired of worrying about it.
Tired of cooking a healthy meal to just have kids say yuck before they even taste it.
Tired, of one crying cause the other hit, shoved, or took something away from them.
Tired of a 5 year old and a 3 year old talking back to me.
Basically, I think I'm just TIRED. I need sleep. But even when Kevin lets me sleep in or gets whichever child in the night, I am still so tired!
Okay, I'm done whining myself.  Is it okay to feel like this about something that I've wanted so much for so long. Is it okay to feel like this about something that I was jealous of others for having?
I truly love my life......I do....honestly!  I just have the blues this week. Kevin and I are going on a marriage retreat overnight in a few weeks, I'm so nervous to leave my kiddos overnight with someone....never done it before (except when I've been in the hospital) but I think it will be just what the doctor ordered. I need some good time with my man.  Thanks for letting me whine.

Wouldn't even trade them for a clean house!

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