We have been having quite the struggle with our Maili lately. She's turned into Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. She can be so sweet and funny and cute and then she emerges as a little monster stranger. Is it early PMS? is it personality clashes? Is it testing? Is she just now reacting to the baby? OR is she just 4?
As I sat in Sacrament meeting yesterday with a baby that was oh so tired and hungry, my sweet mom came to our ward and played with Haeli. Dr. Jekyl decided to emerge and throw her sacrament water all over, she continued to whine and cry and throw a tantrum. Then, Haeli unintentionally spilled the bag of cracker crumbs all over the bench and floor while I held the tired, hungry Ashli. I lost it. Tears began to roll down my cheeks out of pure exhaustion. Exhaustion with this demanding 4 year old who I just can't understand. I prayed a silent prayer begging for some relief and understanding. Kevin sat on the stand feeling helpless as he watched me try to hide my tears and collect myself. As the speakers were talking about and revering their mothers, I wasn't feeling so willing to be honored by all that I do. I was mad and tired and I felt undeserving.
Soon we headed home to encounter even more tantrums, time outs, etc. Then awhile later, my hero came home. He handled everything...the time outs, the discipline....I actually got a nap! That was the best present of them all. I arose feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day. My brother made some delicious shish kabobs and Kevin helped me make some side dishes. We gathered and ate to our heart's content. I enjoyed watching my children play with their cousins and grandma. I love being a mother. I am learning more than I could have ever imagined. Maili's phase will pass and it will be someone else's turn. All will be well. I love when my girl's run to me after I've been gone to give me big hugs and kisses. I love little Ashli's face light up when I come near and her whole body gets excited. I love seeing my girls learn and play and giggle. I love reading stories and singing songs, I love holding Ashli when she's sleeping on my shoulder. I love kissing boo boo's and drying tears. I love watching them accomplish and excell. I love my children, I love my husband and I love my life. It was a terribly great Mother's Day. Thanks to my hero...I'm excited for our Mother's Day date. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
5 comments:
I can so relate....all mothers can I am sure. We have the same issues with Jeckel and Hyde, I know it will pass. You are such a great mother! Happy Mother's Day!
Oooo, I feel for ya. I wanted to cry right along with your sacrament meeting story! Isn't it funny that those mommy moments often happen on Mother's Day? ("Funny" meaning I hope you are at the point where you can laugh at it now!) Good for you for counting your blessings! Happy (late) Mother's Day to you!
See how it all works out in the end? You are a great mother and you should be honored, even if the honoring comes in the form of tantrum! (For now)
I think it's the age. 4 years old has always been one of the hardest years with all my kiddos! The good news is she'll grow out of it, the bad news is just when she does, it's Haeli's turn!! : )
I felt the same about mother's day this year. It's hard to feel like you're a good mom, when all you want sometimes is a break, but then sometimes all you need is that nap!
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